Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink....

Well, the Battle of the Breasts has made it's way to Seattle. And before you go invisioning topless female athletes wrestling in a kiddie-pool full of blueberry jello, let me explain.

In recent days the somewhat mindnumbing discussion regarding public breastfeeding has made national, and now local, headlines after Barbara Walters on The View (and no, I wasn't watching) made the comment that when a young woman whipped her breast out in the airline seat next to her to suckle her youngster, it creeped her out. Sit back and watch the FUN begin! All of a sudden the nation's collective attention was focused on an act that many feel is extremely personal and precious and others find offensive and tasteless when done in public. So much so, in fact, that hundreds of mothers decided to hold a "nurse-in" in front of The View's studios in protest of Walter's comments. Good grief.

Now when I happen upon a woman in the midst of providing nourishment to her offspring, in or out of the public arena, I politely avert my eyes as any gentlemen would, but not without the temptation to raise a glass and give the kid a hearty toast.

But in this discussion, I once again find myself agreeing with Ken Schram, or Schrambo as we affectionately call him at KVI, of KOMO4 TV, in that while breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural process and undoubtedly the best form of nutrition for a young one, how the hell hard is it to throw a blanket over your shoulder and spare us all the awkwardness?! And not only for politeness sake, after all I will admit that the sight of breasts has never bothered me - quite the opposite in some cases - but a sideshot of a frothy, sagging, milk laden receptacle is anything but pleasent.

But, this issue goes far beyond feeding one's child in public or making people feel uncomfortable. As with any women's issue there is the kook-fringe group, in this case those who "nursed-in," that make this issue an outlet of their collective femininity and the identity of their womanhood, just as with abortion or getting in touch with their vaginas. Soon breastfeeding is no longer a motherly expression of care and love, but a radicalized way to say, "I am a woman! HOW DARE you jack-booted men and out-of-touch elitists try to quash the personal expression of my identity as a woman and mother!! Newsflash: maybe you should find your identity as a mother in the lives of your kids, instead of, once again, isolating one tiny part of life and radicalizing it ad naseum!

Bottom line, if you don't have the foresight to express a bottle full of sustenance for your child before leaving home, have a little class and realize that, while some pay handily to stare at women's breasts, not everyone wants a peek. And to those who are offended, please, before we attack young mothers for giving us a public freeby, let's spark up a discussion about overweight people in spandex or 10-year-olds in daisy-dukes; things that really shouldn't make their way into public view!

Check out Schrambo's column here: http://www.komotv.com/kenschram/story.asp?ID=37268
Or his opposition, Robert L. Jamieson Jr. at the Seattle P.I. here: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/jamieson/227970_robert10x.html